Roses And Their Thorns
by TheMetrist
Summary: Highschool AU. 16-year-old Anastasia Steele gets raped at a college party she reluctantly agreed to go too. She can't bring herself to tell her friends and nobody seems to listen anyway. Expect a guy she puked on at the party... Rated M for rape and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: Rated M for Rape.**

 **Chapter One**

Kate squealed as she stared at her phone.

"Melissa Mayer is throwing a party this Sunday!" she was practically beaming as she bounced on Ana's bed, making her blonde hair fall loosely on her face.

"Fun," Ana mumbled as she flipped through her Language Arts book. "What page is the literature test on?"

Kate sighed. Of course, Ana wouldn't care.

"And we're invited, dork."

"Isn't she in college?" Ana asked, feeling slightly uneasy about hanging out with people in their twenty's.

"Yes, but I'm sure if you put on a little make-up and wore something better than..." she gestured towards Ana's clothes, " _that,_ we'll be able to fit in."

Ana shrugged. "I'm not going."

"Can't you stop being good for two seconds?"

"Kate- "

"Please don't ruin this for me," she whined as she flopped down on the bed, "It took me _forever_ to get invited to a party like this."

"You're so dramatic." Ana laughed.

"So that's a yes?"

It hadn't been a yes that day, but after Kate continued to beg and talk about it, Ana was starting to see the appeal of going to a party. She'd never been to one and she didn't want to let her friend down, so she finally gave in. When Sunday night came around, Kate came to her house with handfuls of clothes for Ana to try on.

Ana frowned into the mirror.

"I look like a prostitute."

"Oh, please," Kate sighed, "It's called a mini-skirt. And you look fantastic."

Ana made a face as she tugged at her V-neck shirt. She had to admit, though, this outfit was a better option then everything else that Kate had her try on. She brushed her unruly hair, trying her best to tame it, unlike Kate, who just tossed her golden locks into a messy bun and still looked gorgeous. Ana was thankful for Kate, but it was hard not to envy how easy she made being sixteen looks.

They arrived at Mayer's house at 10:45. Ana had wanted to get there at 9, but Kate insisted that all the fun starts after 10.

"Promise me that you'll never leave my side." Ana blurted and immediately regretted how scared she sounded. She knew Kate would call her a baby, but instead, Kate gave her arm a comforting squeeze.

"It's just a party. Try to have fun and you'll be fine." Kate replied. Ana nodded, feeling somewhat better than she was. Music was the first thing they heard as they got out of the car and entered the house. Ana glanced around the huge (yet crowded) living room, feeling overwhelmed and slightly foolish for agreeing to wear this outfit. She didn't use to people staring at her unless it was because she fell or had done something embarrassing. A guy sitting on a bar stool winked at her and she quickly glanced away. Studying at home seemed pretty great right now. She just needed to get Kate so she could drive her back home.

"Kate," Ana began, but Kate wasn't standing beside her anymore. She was on a couch chatting with a small group of people. She looked so comfortable and relaxed. A boy (maybe 15) was drooling over Kate, but she blatantly ignored him and paid attention to a couple of college boys that were probably flirting as well. She made it look effortless as she sipped her drink and casually giggled at whatever they said. Meanwhile, Ana smoothed the wrinkles out of her skirt for the hundredth time. Anxiety was building in her stomach and she felt like she was going to puke.

"Are you going to be a wall flower the whole night?"

Ana jumped at the deep voice. She barely realized she had pressed herself into the corner - probably to hide from everyone else.

"I-uh," Ana stammered as she could hardly hold his stare. He was strikingly handsome and was definitely in college, maybe 20, giving them a four-year age difference. "Uhm...Party's aren't my thing." she finally stated.

He pursed his lips. "What is your thing?"

And he said it in a way that made Ana's stomach flutter. Her whole body felt warm as her cheeks flushed. She glanced at the floor to avoid his gaze and nervously tried to flatten out her skirt with her hands again. Why he was making her so nervous? She was never like this around boys.

"Books," she said quietly, "I like books," she repeated louder, remembering the loud music. She felt his fingers gently tilt her chin up to look at him.

"Don't look down, your eyes are beautiful."

Ana's mouth went dry. She couldn't explain the emotions right now.

"Who are you?" she said, feeling her stomach flutter again, but it was a different kind of flutter this time as she felt vomit hit the back of her throat. She stepped back and puked was all over the floor and the guy's shoes.

"I'm so sorry!" she apologized as she pushed people out the way to run upstairs. The guy was calling after her, but she didn't listen or even look back. The embarrassment was burning her face red. She locked herself in the upstairs bathroom and finished her second round of vomit in the toilet. She decided to spend the next hour in the bathroom, (wishing everyone who witnessed her would be gone by then) then finally opened the door. As she walked across the room, the bedroom door opened and a tall average guy walked in the room with a beer in his hand.

A slow smirk went on his face. "You're that chick who threw-up," he looked her up and down, "Pretty little thing."

"I was just leaving," Ana mumbled. There was something unsettling about him that only made her want to leave faster.

"So soon? I just found you."

Ana frowned as she realized this was the guy who had winked at her earlier. She tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her elbow.

"Here," he raised his beer, "A little swig won't kill you."

Starting to feel scared now, Ana took a sip then handed it back to him. He gave a satisfied smile and let her elbow go. He gestured the beer can towards her, silently offering another sip.

"No thanks," Ana replied, feeling slightly dizzy. She knew she was a lite-weight but this was pathetic. Her head was spinning, she felt drowsy, and her vision was getting increasingly blurry. She stumbled to the door and fell down. "What was...in that?" she asked as she glanced up to see him unzipping his pants. The guy just smiled as he crawled on top of her and yanked her skirt up.

Ana struggled to move beneath his weight.

"Don't fight it, whore." he hissed as he slid her panties off. His hands roamed over her body before he rolled her on her back and forced himself inside of her. He pounded into her, hoping she would scream, but the drugs had already taken full effect; Ana was unconscious.

The next morning Ana awoke on the side of a dirt road, miles away from anything familiar.

 **...to be continued.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the support for this story. There are many chapters to come!**

* * *

Ana blinked as the sun shined in her eyes, although, it was the hot pebbles against her cheek that made her sit up. Her belongings (a phone and a wallet) lied beside her, but she didn't bother reaching for them, she just hugged her knees around her chest and stared out into the road from behind worn bushes. She didn't know how long she sat there watching cars go by, she just knew that it made her feel invisible -something that she was usually good at- something that she wished she was last night.

Ana finally picked up her phone only to find it out of battery. She stuffed it in her skirt pocket, along with her wallet, and started walking down the sidewalk. She hugged herself as if she'd blow away at the slightest wind. The walk seemed endless and she had no idea where she was going or how far she was away from home, so she kept straight until she seen familiar buildings and street signs. She thought about going home, but she didn't want Ray to see her like this, and her other friends (besides Kate) would ask too many questions that she wasn't ready to answer at the moment.

Ana knocked twice on the Kavanagh's door and it swung open. Kate stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and her lips pressed into a thin line.

"All day," Kate said, "All day I've been trying to call- What the hell happened to you?" she ushered Ana into the house. "Never mind. Just go wash up then meet me in my room. It looks like we _both_ have some crazy stories to tell."

Ana was barely listening to what Kate said as she slowly walked to the staircase and stopped. She'd been in this house countless times, yet today, she felt like a stranger.

"I'm getting a soda, do you want anything?" Kate called out as she searched through the fridge.

"You left me," Ana whispered.

"What was that?" Kate turned around, not fully hearing what her friend said.

"You left me," Ana repeated louder this time, wishing her voice didn't break, "You said wouldn't and you left me."

Kate frowned, feeling a pang of guilt. "I was just trying to have fun. I thought you would too. I guess I should have been more considerate since you're not used to that kind of crowd, but next time I'll stay with you. I promise," she gave a comforting smile, expect this time, it didn't feel comforting.

Ana was on the verge on tears. She was literally shaking.

"You...left me."

Kate's frown deepen. She had never seen her friend this upset before, and she was completely dumbfounded when Ana pushed her.

"How could you?" Ana yelled as she pushed Kate again and again until Kate grabbed her forearms and shook her lightly.

"Ana, look at me, you're okay! You're okay," she pulled her into a hug and Ana broke down crying in her arms. For the first time since yesterday, Ana felt like she had her friend back. She felt like she could tell Kate everything. And she would.

"Kate-"

 _Ring, Ring._ They both jumped.

"It's mine," Kate sighed, "I won't answer it if you don't want me too."

Ana gestured that it's fine.

Kate picked up her phone and looked at the caller ID. She squealed, unable to control her excitement. "It's Marshall!" she beamed, "I met him at the party yesterday. We made out a little, but I never thought he'd actually call me. Oh, speaking of calling, Ray called my dad twice yesterday _and_ this morning to see if you were over here. I think he's worried sick." she finally answered the phone and turned around for privacy.

"Kate," Ana croaked, not even caring how desperate she sounded.

Kate glanced over her shoulder. "Hmm? Oh yeah, next time just use the GPS on your phone so you don't get lost," then she put the phone back up to her ear and nonchalantly walked into the living room.

Ana clenched her fist as hot tears stung her eyes all over again. She had never felt more alone and defeated in her life. If she couldn't tell Kate, who could she tell? She ran upstairs and turned on the shower. As she took off her clothes, she noticed dried blood on her upper thighs, reminding her of what she lost yesterday. Furious, she grabbed a brush off the sink and threw it into the mirror. The mirror cracked, making herself look distorted in it.

"I hate you!" she screamed, gasping for breathing between sobs, "I fucking hate you!" She pressed a piece of broken glass to her wrist, only cutting herself slightly, before letting the glass shatter to the floor. She curled into the bathtub floor and sobbed as the water to washed over her.

Ana put on a sweater and a pair of jeans she found in Kate's closet then tied her hair in a ponytail and walked back downstairs. Kate was still giggling on the phone, so it was easy to walk out the front door without her noticing.

* * *

"Where have you been?" was the first thing Ray said when Ana walked into the house. It looked like he was recovering from a heart attack and about to have another one.

"I stayed over at Jose's." Ana lied as Ray hugged her. She wanted to tell Ray the truth, but she didn't know how. And after trying to tell Kate, she wasn't in a rush to tell anyone else.

"I thought something happened to you. You have to tell me where you're going if it's after midnight. You're still my little girl, you know."

"I know," Ana replied. It was comforting to see how worried he was.

"Want me to make you some breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry," Ana remembered her last meal ended up on the shoes of a stranger. That night had been one disaster after another. She tried her best not to think about what happened, but everything seemed to remind her of it now. And her own curiosity about how she ended up on the side of the road (even though she had a pretty good idea how) got the best of her. "I wanna get a job."

Ray raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

Ana nodded. She needed something to keep her busy or she'd be trapped alone with her the thoughts.

"Well, summer's around the corner so it wouldn't interrupt your schooling," Ray shrugged, "I don't see anything wrong with a job. I'll even give you a ride and help you find one."

They drove around town, stopping by grocery stores, pet shops, restaurants, etc, and Ana would get an application to the ones that were hiring. She didn't think any of those places would hire her, though. Being uncomfortable, depressed, and self-conscious mixed with natural awkwardness was never a good first impression.

"What was _that_?" Ray asked they parked beside a restaurant with a 'Hiring' sign in front of it, "I haven't seen you act like that since you had anxiety at fourteen."

"I'm just nervous," Ana mumbled.

"Do you want me to come with you?" when he saw her face, he added: "I'm sorry Ana, but you just been a little off today."

Ana unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? It doesn't seem like-"

"Just stop. Please, just stop," Ana shouted as she slammed the car door then rushed inside the restaurant. She immediately regretted yelling at Ray, although, she reasoned that she had gone job searching to forget about last night, not to be questioned about it.

Ana leaned against an empty table as tears fell down her cheeks before she could stop them. She quickly wiped them away as people started staring. _Another great first_ _impression_ , she thought as she rolled her eyes and glanced around the place. It was a lovely restaurant with a 1950's theme and jukebox in the corner to make sure everyone knew it. Someone serving an elderly couple caught her attention. It was him. _'Your eyes are beautiful'_ , was the last thing he had said to her before she puked on him. The embarrassment rose to her cheeks as if it were happening again. He was standing the whole restaurant away from her and she still felt the same way she did when she met him. Except she didn't. There was a lack of trust and safety that she felt around men (except Ray) since yesterday. She never had the 'boyfriend gene' as Kate called it, but it was something deeper than just not wanting to be with someone now. She didn't want to get close to anyone. She didn't want to let her guard down.

The guy noticed her staring and gave a slight wave as he smiled at her. He was acting like they knew each other for a lifetime. As if on cue, he casually walked over to her. His name tag read: Christian.

"Nice to see you again," he smiled.

Ana couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not so she bite her lip nervously. He could easily be another college idiot.

"I don't think I ever caught your name."

"Anastasia," Ana cleared her throat, "I mean Ana. Everyone calls me Ana.

"Anastasia," he slowly rolled the name off his tongue and she could have sworn he look amused. "First-time customer?"

"Actually, I was uh, trying to get a job but-" _you're here_ , she silently added. There was an obvious attraction that she felt for him and a few other feelings that she didn't understand yet. It'd be like playing with fire if she worked with him. Besides, he probably hated her.

"You're hired."

Ana stuttered to find words but couldn't, She was torn between saying thank you and accepting the job or leaving. Meanwhile, Christian smirked like he had his own private joke.

"I'm... already interested in another job," Ana replied, slightly proud of herself for not giving into her teenage hormones because that's what she chalked all her feelings towards him as; simply his physical attractiveness, nothing else.

He honestly looked disappointed, but he masked it well.

"Well, if the job you're interested in doesn't work out, come back here Friday and I'll train you."

"Thanks," Ana muttered shyly as she glanced at the checkerboard flooring. _Why was it so hard to hold his stare?_ she wondered. Another employee called Christian and he sighed. Was he sad to leave her? Ana immediately tossed that thought away.

"I hope to see you again Anastasia," he smiled, "I'm glad you didn't puke this time."

Ana flushed.

"I try," she replied awkwardly then walked out of the restaurant, glancing behind her every few seconds because he was watching her go. She tried to calm her flushed face as she opens the car door.

"So how'd it go?" Ray asked cautiously as Ana climbed into her seat.

"I'm not sure," Ana replied honestly as she stared out her window. She wanted to feel angry for getting so flustered around Christian, but she found herself smiling - the first one in what seemed like forever. "I got the job, though."

"Ana, that's great." Ray said, "We can celebrate with a pizza night."

Ana nodded as she took out her phone to text Kate, but her inbox was already flooded with messages from Kate telling her all about Marshall. Ana rolled her eyes and shut her phone off.

"Yeah, pizza sounds great." Ana replied, although, her mind was on anything but.

 **...to be continued**


	3. Chapter 3

**Monday**

 _Knock, knock._

"Come in."

"Are you still feeling under the weather?" Ray asked as he walked into Ana's room. Ana had taken a sick day off of school by telling Ray she had a fever, but she didn't feel physically sick at all. She just knew that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on any of her classes and she couldn't face her friends with their gossip, popularity contest, and boy talk.

"Yeah," Ana replied.

"Well, there's some soup on the stove if you get hungry. I gotta get to work, but call me if you need anything."

"I will, thanks Ray."

Ray nodded and shut her door back. Ana tried to go to sleep, but when sleep didn't find her, she scrolled through her phone. Three missed calls from Kate and a text from Jose, saying that he missed her. Ana only felt lonelier when she talked to Kate as of late, and even though Jose was an awesome guy, he was still a guy. She doubted he'd understand anything that she was going through. She decided to call her mom.

Ana found herself pacing back and fourth in her room as she dialed her mother's number. They hadn't spoke in a week after they had gotten into an argument.

"Ana?" Carla answered.

"Mom, hi," Ana smiled, then remember her mother couldn't see her. "Are you busy?"

"Not too busy to talk to you. How have you been?"

"I'm- " _fine_ , Ana had wanted to answer, but it wasn't easy to lie this time. She leaned against her door as the weight of the question felt like a thousand pounds. _But How do you tell the worst thing that's ever happened to you?_ Ana glanced at the ceiling. Quietly whimpering, she struggled not to cry.

"Honey?" her mother asked. Ana opened her mouth to say something, anything, but all that came out were sobs that shook her whole body. She slid down the door, heaving, and weeping.

"Not fine," Ana gasped.

"What's wrong?" Carla said with worry laced through every word, and Ana pictured her mother's brows furrowed like they always did when she was worried.

"I-I..."

"Honey, what's wrong?"

Ana wiped tears from her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to have her mother worrying about her. So she told a half-truth.

"I've just been suicidal lately, it's nothing." Ana brushed off.

"Wha-why? What's going on? Are you getting bullied?"

"Mom,"

"Did you talk to your principle? Are you-"

Ana set her phone on the floor (so it muffled what her mother was saying) and cupped her hands over her face. She calmed her shaking and steadied her voice before picking up the phone again. Her mother was still talking, but she cut her off.

"I gotta go. My class is about to start."

"But- alright, okay. Take care of yourself, Ana. I mean it."

 _Click._

Ana hung up the phone and crawled back into bed.

* * *

The days dragged by slow and painful. Ana stayed in bed most of the week until Ray started to worry, so she went back Thursday. She was content on keeping to herself and studying and it worked out fine since most of her friends were too busy planning for summer break to notice her. Besides Kate, who met her in the hallway and offered her a ride home after class.

They walked in the school parking lot.

"I'm glad you're better," said Kate, "School was boring without you."

Ana nodded, barely listening.

"So, I was thinking we could go swimming this weekend. Or maybe shopping because I need a new outfit for my date with Marshall. Oh, I got an idea! Ana, if you find somebody, we can make it a double date," Kate grinned then glanced at Ana, who hugged her books closely against herself. "Are you sure you're over that fever? You don't look well."

"I never had a fever."

Kate frowned as they reached her car.

"What do you mean?"

"I lied, Kate," Ana replied as she waited for Kate to unlock the car door.

"Why would you do that?"

Ana shrugged in response then tried to open the door. "Can you open the door, please?"

"No," Kate crossed her arms over her chest. "Ever since I took you to that party you've been acting like a bitch. You ignore my text and don't answer my calls. You miss school for whatever reason, and you completely zone out when I'm talking. You _can't_ still be mad at me."

Ana tried to open the door but it was still locked.

"I'm sorry, okay?" said Kate, "I shouldn't have left you. I'm. Sorry."

"Damn it, Kate, just open the door."

Kate walked around to the passenger side where Ana was standing.

"Not until you accept my apology."

"I'll just walk home," Ana replied sullenly.

"No, Ana...no, wait. Get in," Kate sighed as she unlocked the door, but Ana didn't get in. She stood there for a few seconds then slowly wrote something in the dust on the window. Kate held her breath as she seen what Ana traced into her window. The sentence, clear as day, was staring back at her: **I was raped.**

"No, no, no," Kate whispered to herself as she shook her head in disbelief. She felt sick to her stomach. "Ana, I- oh my god, who?"

Ana didn't reply and Kate understood that it was a random jock at the party.

"I-I let you down," Kate shuttered as she started to cry, "I let you down," she repeated as she held Ana's hand then put on a strong facade. "You and I will do something -anything- that you want."

"I work tomorrow," Ana replied, sounding colder than she wanted too.

Kate's eyes widened.

"You have a job?"

Ana wasn't even sure if she wanted to work at that job yet, but the way Kate's face sunk with guilt and the realization that she hadn't been there for her, made her make up her mind. Although, Ana didn't feel the satisfaction that she thought she would upon seeing Kate so distraught.

Ana gave a modest nod and got into the car. They drove in silence the whole ride. As they pulled along Ana's driveway, Kate carefully asked:

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ana hesitated.

"Not really."

"Okay. Goodnight Ana," Kate leaned over and hugged her. Ana welcomed the hug, feeling as if things could be normal between them again, and cursed the moon not to cry.

"Goodnight Kate."

* * *

 **Friday**

"Shit, shit, shit," Ana repeated as she stumbled out of bed and tripped over her bed sheet that was tangled around her ankle. She had forgotten to set her alarm clock and overslept. She brushed her hair, but quickly gave that up, and put it in a ponytail. She found a pair of blue jeans and a t-shirt to put on, then gargled mouthwash and ran down stairs. Ana arrived at the restaurant on her bicycle, since Ray had already left for work before she woke up.

The restaurant was locked and seemingly empty, so she peeked through the window. Christian was inside, turning upside-down chairs back onto their legs. She watched him for a minute, taking in how calm and peaceful he looked and relished in that fact that she didn't have to avoid his smoldering stare or try desperately to stop from blushing. She liked seeing him like this. She tapped on the window, causing him to glance up.

"Hi," Ana mouthed out as she timidly waved. She pushed down the giddiness that she felt when he smiled. He walked over and unlocked the door then held it open for her.

"Good morning, Anastasia,"

"Sorry I'm late," Ana mumbled.

Christian shrugged as he locked the door behind her.

"It was expected. You seemed like you had a lot on your mind the last time I saw you."

Ana remembered the crying scene she had made here. She wondered if she would always meet him when she was embarrassing herself.

"It was just one thing," Ana replied honestly and bite her lip in fear of crying. _Not here. Not now._ "I'm actually hoping that I will have a lot on my mind,"

Christian raised an eyebrow at the statement he didn't quite understand.

"Alright then," he smirked, "follow me."

 **...to be continued**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: **My apologies for** **the late post.** I **will be updating more frequently now. Thank you** **for your** **support and patient _s._**

Chapter Four 

"So, how many jobs have you worked?"

Ana swallowed down her nerves.

"Just this...If I get it," Ana replied. She couldn't see Christian's face because he was in front of her, but she knew that he was smirking. He was like a handsome demon that fed off of nerves and blushes.

"Do you know if you're better at waiting tables or washing dishes?" asked Christian.

Ana considered this for a moment. She never waited a table in her life and she was naturally clumsy, so she went with the latter.

"Alright," said Christian as he finished leading her into the backroom of the restaurant. He rolled up his sleeves and demonstrated rinsing a dish and putting it into the washing machine. "Your turn."

Ana nodded and slowly walked up to the twin sink as Christian gave her a small smile, seeing how nervous she was, and stepped to the side. Ana reached into the murky dish water and fumbled to hold onto the plate until finally grasping it harder than necessary. She kept telling herself to relax but it wasn't easy when Christin was intently watching her. She kept glancing at him.

"Eyes on the dishes, Anastasia," said Christian.

Ana blushed and glued her eyes to the plate in her hand. She reached over to put it in the washing machine and chipped it against the counter. Hoping Christian didn't notice, (which was highly unlikely) she continued to set it into the washing machine. Mustering up all the confidence she had (which was very little) Ana faced Christian and leaned against the sink.

"So, uhm- how'd I do?"

"Well...that was something," Christan teased.

Ana could have melted from embarrassment.

"Shut up," she mumbled and flicked dish water at him, laughing when he flinched. She covered her mouth just at the explosion of her laugh, realizing that she splashed her potential boss. "I'm so sorry I-" she stopped upon seeing the devilish grin grow on Christians face. He grabbed the faucet hose on sink and started spraying her. Ana yelped then clumsily got the hose on her side and sprayed back, all the while laughing. The room was filled with laughter and wet floors, which Ana eventually slipped on.

"Are you okay?" Christian asked with more concern than appropriate as he reached his hand out to her. She took it and pulled him down with her, giggling. "I didn't know you were so sinister," smirked Christian.

Ana rolled her eyes as they stayed content on the wet floor and leaned against the sink cabinets. For a few minutes, they were both quiet, just enjoying each others company.

"I lost the job, didn't I?" Ana blurted.

Christian laughed.

"Just the opposite. You really think I'm gonna fire the only person that brings life to this shit hole? But you'll probably be a waiter," he added jokingly as they caught each others eye for moment before looking ahead again.

"Shit hole?" Ana asked. There were two things she knew; she wasn't the life of the party and this place was most definitely not a shit hole.

"Long story," Christian grunted and stood up. "They're some towels and clean uniforms in the back."

"Thanks," Ana replied then stood up. When she dried off and changed, Christian was already moping the floor. She grabbed a mop and started helping. "I want to hear the long story."

Christian narrowed his eyes at her and she had thought he wasn't going to reply.

"My dad own an insurance company," he began, "He has hundreds across the country. A while ago he told me that he wants me to run it with him and one day I'll inherit everything,"

"Is there a bad part to this story?"

Christians eyes shot daggers at her and she bit her lip, hoping he'd continue. He did.

"The last thing I wanted was my Father thinking that he made me, so I turned him down and started working here. That bastard bought this whole place out and the manager job was given to me."

"But you didn't want it," Ana said.

"Not like that," Christian agreed. Ana rung her mop out over the sink. "What about you? What's your story?"

Ana shrugged as they put their mops up. "Not much to tell."

"I doubt that." replied Christian as he stepped closer to her. Ana backed up into the washing machine. "Why were you crying when you came in here the first time?" He tries to search her face but she was avidly avoiding his eyes. "Anastasia." He urged.

Ana slowly raised her head to look at him, her eyes glossed over and with a deep sadness that drew him in. His fingers gently pushed loose strands of hair behind her ear.

Ana froze as she watched Christian's eyes slowly close as he leaned in to kiss her. Goose bumps covered her body and her breathe hitched in her throat. She had been wanting to kiss him since the first time she meet him at the party-

 _Party._

Images of that night flooded her mind and she was standing in that room again, accepting the drink. She could see the guy crawling on top her as everything faded to black. Her anger clumped in her throat and before she realized what she was doing, she pushed Christian as hard as she could. Christian stumbled backwards, bumping into the counter across from her. He looked confused, upset, and slightly embarrassed. Snapping out of her trance, Ana stared wide-eyed t Christian, unable to speak. The door flung open and three employees stood there. Ana used this moment to flee from the restaurant.

"Is everything OK sir? We're about to open the store but-"

"Just get to work." Christian growled. He walked past them and out of the restaurant. He easily spotted the brunette pony tail swinging fiercely to swift steps. He called after her and got ignored so he jogged to her. She kept her eyes forward, prenteding to be unaware of his presence.

"Why are you following me?" She finally snapped, but it came out tiredly.

"I'm checking up on you - there's a difference." He glanced at her. She didn't look at him. "I'm still trying to figure you out Anastasia."

"There's nothing to figure out. Look, if you're trying to make me go back there, I'm not."

Christian shook his head as if to say no. "Actually, I was thinking coffee."

 _This_ got her to look at him and he couldn't help but smile.

Coffee Shop...

Ana and Christian sat across from each other between a small wooden table. Each time one of them moved, their legs brushed against each other's. Ana stayed as still as possible. The waitress came and brought them their coffee, asked if they needed anything else, then left.

"I'm sorry for pushing you," Ana mumbled.

"It was different," Christian frowned. "I mean, I've never been rejected before."

Ana reached into her pocket and took out her wallet. "I'll make it up to you. Let me pay." This only seemed to irritate Christian.

"I'm not letting you pay," he said dismissively and Ana knew the conversation was over. She put her wallet away and shrugged. "I shouldn't have kissed you."

"It's-"

"No, its not fine. I knew something was wrong. I knew you weren't ready ."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ana said, feeling the need to defend herself. He immediately regretted saying it once he seen that she took it the wrong way. She sipped her coffee and stated out the window, paying zero attention to him. Christian sighed inwardly. Damn, this girl was getting to him.

"It was means you're different. Better."

Ana's cheeks tinted pink.

"I know you have feelings for me, Anastasia. Why did you push me?"

"The employee's came in." She lied.

"That was afterwards. Now tell me why?" Christian sighed when she stayed quiet. "You don't trust me do you?"

"I haven't trusted in a while now."

"Why?"

Ana shifted uncomfortably in her seat, making their legs touch. "It doesn't matter."

"Anastasia!"

Ana pounded her fist against the table.

"I was raped! Now you know asshole!" Silent tears streamed down her face as a few customers looked on at the commotion. She got up to leave. Christian touched her arm and she jerked her arm away.

"Don't go," pleaded Christian. "Please."

Sighing, Ana slowly sat back down.

"I don't want to talk about it," She whispered, suddenly not in the mood to drink anymore, and pushed her coffee aside.

Christian nodded. He regain his usual composure and leaned back into his seat.

"Alright. So what's your favorite color?"

They shared small talk and light banter until morning turned to evening and Ana had to leave. Christian offered to walk her home and she accepted.

"This is me," said Ana as they stopped in front of her house. She figured Ray was already waiting on her. She glanced at her shoes, thinking about the possible lecture she might receive.

"Haven't I told you you're eyes are too beautiful to keep them at the ground?"

Ana slowly looked up to meet his stare. Her eyes have always been her insecurity so she found it hard to believe him.

"If you'll let me, I'd like to take you on a proper date, Anastasia."

Ana bit her lip.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

Christian nodded. "I understand. Good night."

Ana rasied herself on her tip-toes and pressed her lips against his cheek. He barely had time to react before she was hurrying across her lawn.

Later that night, Ana called Kate. Despite the shaky terms they were on now, they were still best friends and Ana still got the urge to tell Kate everything. She wanted to tell her about her job, and Christian, and how she wasn't handling her assault well. It would strike her any moment and drag her down. Kate didn't answer though. She didn't show up to school the next day either.

"That's for table five! Don't mix it up again, Rookie!"

"Got it. Sorry," Ana replied to her co-worker, Lexi, who was actually nice outside of work. Ana carried the trays of food to its rightful table then returned behind the counter again. She felt an elbow poke her in the ribs and glanced up to see Christian smiling at her.

"Pretty good for your first day."

"Thanks," said Ana. She was feeling proud of herself.

"Ana?"

Ana's smile fell as she looked towards the counter and seen Kate. Her friend's normally perfect blonde hair was a tangled mess and bags hung heavily under her eyes.

"Kate?"

Kate's eyes darted between Ana and Christian. She took note of how close they were standing.

"This is my boss, Christian," Ana introduced before things became awkward.

"Whatever," muttered Kate as her attention went on Ana. "We need to talk."

Christian took this as his cue to leave. Ana leaned against the counter.

"What's wrong?"

"What's not?" Kate whined. "I haven't slept and I've barely eaten anything since you told me. I feel like this is all my fault. I don't know how you do it Ana."

"Do what?"

"Live! I've been staying with Marshall all week and he's been getting me through this, but you have nobody!"

Ana frowned.

"You told Marshall?"

"I had to tell someone. Look, we think you should come on out date with us next Saturday. It's okay if you don't have anybody, we won't treat you like a third wheel. Please just let us help you. Help _me."_ Kate begged, her eyes full of sincerity.

Surprisingly, Ana didn't feel sorry for Kate. She had came here because guilt was eating her up and she wanted to clear her conscious by taking Ana on a lousy (double?) date with her boyfriend.

"Table nine, Rookie!" Lexi called from the kitchen.

Ana used all her strength to walk away from her puffy eyed friend.

"l'm busy Kate." Ana said and walked away, leaving Kate looking perplexed at the counter. Something was different about Ana, Kate realized. Ana was slowly getting through her problems without her. She was stronger. Better.

 **...to be continued (you won't want to miss the next chapter)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: 'The Devil In Lamb's Skin'**

It as late -2am to be exact- and Ana couldn't sleep. For the first time in five years, she went into her closet, tip-toeing to reach the high shelf and got Buggy (a worn stuffed bunny) and held it through the night so she would fall asleep.

It didn't work.

Her mind was racing as if a thousand google tabs were open inside her head. Ana sat by the window for a while, letting the moonlight cover her. Any other night, it would have been annoying, but tonight it was peaceful. Ana hadn't known when she had fallen asleep, but she woke under her window to the sound of Ray calling her for breakfast. She stood up and stretched her arms, her eyes catching her phone on her desk. She snatched the phone off her desk and dialed the number before she could talk herself out of it.

"Hello?"

"Kate, hi."

"Ana, w-why are you calling me? I mean, you're not mad at me?"

"Actually I've been thinking about what you said. You were right. I'd like to go with you and Marshall this weekend," she paused waiting for Kate to say anything. She didn't. "And I won't be a third wheel, I have a date now"

Kate gasped.

"I-I.. You have a date?" Of all the years they'd been friends, Ana never showed any interest in boys. Kate felt like it was a blow in the gut to just be hearing about this mistery man. "Who is he?"

"... Christian." murmured Ana.

"Your boss? Have you two-"

Ray walked in Ana's room.

"Breakfast is ready," he whispered upon seeing her on the phone.

"Bye Kate. See you this weekend." Then Ana hung up the phone.

* * *

"Hey you," a deep voice soothed in Ana's ear as she felt the faint hand touch the small of her back. Chills were sent the through her body, but the sensation was gone all to soon and she glanced down the asile of tables and chairs to see Christian heading towards a table.

"Did you get that?" asked a chubby gray haired woman. Ana stopped biting her lip - something she hadn't known she was doing.

"What?"

"My order. Did you get that?"

"Oh, uh." Ana fumbled to get her paper and pen out of her shirt pocket. She stole a quick glance towards Christian's table where he would surely get a tip; it was college girls falling for his charm. Ana shifted her eyes to her table again. The gray haired woman was frowning up a storm. Ana silently cursed Christian for making her so flustered.

"What was It that you'd like again?"

"A burger, a shake and a large fry."

"Coming right up," said Ana as she mustered up a smile that came off really fake, so she didn't blame the woman when she cursed under her breathe.

Safely behind the counter again, Ana told the chef's the order then stepped outside to take a break. Christian followed her.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"When people aren't walking past me, breathing their sultry voice down my neck," Ana teased. The shadow of a smile played on Christian's lips, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

"I'm serious."

"I'm fine...why?'

"After your friend left yesterday, you've been avoiding me. Much like today."

Ana sighed.

"I was upset yesterday. But today i screwed up."

"How so?"

"I told my friend that you're my date..."

Christian squinted into the sun befire returning his eyes to hers.

"A date?"

Ana blushed. She wished that she could sink into the floor right now.

"A double date," she corrected quietly.

"Alright. I'll pick you up at eight."

"Really? I mean - really?"

"I don't see why not." replied Christian. "Let's get back to work."

The rest of the work day was busy, leaving any conversation's between employees nonexistent. Christian offered to walk Ana home, which she accepted. It soon became their thing. The fifteen minute walk to her house was their own magical place to talk about anything and everything. Ana gradually told Christian about _that_ night and he told her stories about his life. The conversations never stayed dark though, it would always turn silly, and they both preferred it that way. The walk became Ana's favorite part of the day. She also started calling her mom more often since she couldn't talk to Kate so easily anymore.

"Wow," laughed Carla. "Sounds like you're having fun at your job."

"I am," Ana said honestly. She left out the part that once she left the safe feeling of the restaurant, she felt bad all over. She was always looking over her shoulder, concerned something else would happen. She felt empty too. Who was evil enough to throw someone on the side of the road like trash? It brought tears to Ana's eyes just thinking about it. She wanted closure. She couldn't push It down enough to escape from it and sometimes it would come back all at once. Those were the days she thought about suicide.

"So when is Christian going to ask you to be his girlfriend?" Carla teased.

Ana rolled her eyes even though she was on this phone. The door bell rang. _Saved by the bell,_ Ana thought.

"I gotta go, mom."

"I love you, bye sweetie."

Ana went in the hallway, leaning over the stair case to peer at Ray opening the door for the mail man. The mail man passed Ray a package and exchanged a few words Ana couldn't hear, then left. She finished taking the last steps down the stairs as Ray shut the door.

"Its for you," said Ray. "The note says, 'For Saturday' sighed CG."

Ana grabbed the package and started opening it on the kitchen counter.

"Who sent you this?"

Ana grunted in response. Depending on what was inside would great determine her answer. She pulled out lots of bubble wrap and foam to reveal a matching diamond necklace and braclet.

"Woah, that's expensive," gasped Ray.

Under the small box of jewelry was a dress. Ana carefully lifted it out and held it against herself. It was sky blue, like her eyes, and the bottom was flowing to her knees. It was breath taking.

"Its from Christian. We're going out with Kate and her friend this Saturday." Said Ana.

"That's nice. This Christian guy is already getting on my good side," Ray joked. Ana chortled because she always found Rays lame jokes funny. She put everything back into the box and went into her room to call her mom back and tell her everythig that just happened. Carla was pleasantly surprised and told Ana that Christian was a keeper.

"Mom!" blushed Ana. "There's nothing to keep. We're friends. Besides, its just a pity date." It felt like acid coming out of her mouth. She glanced over at the box of jewelry and clothes on her bed as she engrossed herself in her own words. _Its just a pity date._ Of course! How could she be so stupid? She was raped and depressed. Christian only felt sorry for her. Ana convinced herself that a guy like him -and in college too- would never want her. Her negative thoughts were corrupting her mind until she couldn't take it anymore.

"Rays is calling for dinner," Ana managed to choke out as the lump in her throat expanded.

"Oh. Okay. Everything alright sweetie?"

Ana hung up. She curled up, making herself as small as possible. She was transported into the bathroom again, embarrassed and alone. She could almost taste the bitter vomit and feel the doom that lied ahead.

 **Saturday**

Ana tried calling Kate to cancel the double date but Kate didn't response. They could not see each other regularly anymore since school was out, so this hurt Ana.

"Ana wake up. He's here."

Ana rolled over in her bed and rubbed her eyes to see Ray. He was looking at her with the briefest smile.

"Who's here?"

"Christian. He seems like a great kid."

"Wha-" Ana struggled out bed, untangling the sheet around her ankle and looked out the window. The moon was slowly replacing the sun. Her clock read 7:45. She had slept the whole day.

"Do you want me to tell him to leave?"

"No, I'll get dressed."

Even though she was mad at him, she was still excited about their double date. She brushed her hair before letting it fall lazily around her shoulder and put on a yellow dress, purposely not wearing the one Christian gave her.

"You look beautiful, Anastasia." Christian said as soon as she walked outside. He was standing beside his car. If he wondered why she wasn't in the expensive jewelry and fancy dress, he showed no sign.

"Remember, 11'o clock." Ray said from the porch.

"We won't be a minute late, sir," replied Christian as he opened the door for Ana to get in.

As they drove down the street, Christian turned on the radio, glancing at Ana to see which song she wanted him to stop on, but she looked out her window the whole ride. He wondered what was on her mind.

Elbows intertwined, Ana and Christian walked into the nice little diner. They scanned the room for Marshall and Kate with no luck, then took seats in the back.

"Do you think they'll see us from here?" said Ana as she craned her neck to see the front door.

"Anastaisa," he waited till she looked at him, "They'll see us."

Ana nodded. She opened her menu then closed it. Took a sip of water, set it down, then took another sip.

Christian arched his eyebrow.

"First date?"

"I-uh- yes."

"So before uhm," he cleared his throat, "You were a virgin?"

Ana nodded.

Christian change the subject. "They better get here soon, I'm starving. Ah, speak of the devil." He smiled past Ana (her back was to the door) and greeted Kate and Marshall.

"Nice to properly meet you," Kate said to Christian as she sat next to him and Marshall sat beside Ana so everyone could face their date. Ana missed Christian's response to Kate because Marshall nudged her and introduced himself. Ana smiled his way as he reached his hand out. Her smile fell as she looked his way. She backed up, forgetting she was on a chair, and fell off. Christian rushed to help her up.

"What's wrong?"

Ana glanced at Marshall. She felt her throat tighing.

Christian squeezed her shaky hands.

"Here, sit down."

"Can we...can we switch seats?"

"Of course." He replied and sat beside Marshall.

"You look sick," Kate commented as she pressed her hand against Ana's forehead. Ana leaned into Kate's touch as she kept her eyes downcast.

It was silly, but Ana never thought of her rapist having a name or even being human. She thought of him as a foul monster. Yet here he was, grinning like she wasn't a few feet away from him. She wondered if he recognized her then quickly removed that thought. Of course he did. The Monster had a name and it's name was Marshall. Ana visibly shuddered at knowing he was with Kate. This was the ass that she made out with at the party. Bile hit the back of Ana's throat as she wondered if Marshall attacked her before or after he made out with Kate.

"Its your turn to order," said Kate as the whole table watched Ana expectantly.

"I need to use the bathroom," replied Ana.

"I'll go with you," Kate offered.

"Let her go," said Marshall, and Ana caught a glimpse of a small grin directed at her. She knew if she said something now that it would just be her word against his.

In the bathroom, Ana washed her face to twice to calm down. Her chest heaved up and down as she clung to the sink. She silently begged her self not to cry as her palms started aching from squeezing the sink to tight.

"Don't cry," but as soon as she echoed those words, she knew she had lost. Snot dripped from her nose to her mouth as her nose burnt and warm tears slid down her cheeks. She let the sobs take her and collapsed on the cold bathroom tile. Feeling her stomach twist, she crawled on her hands and knees and threw up in the toilet. She gasped for air and stayed that way for a minute before wiping stubborn vomit off of her chin. Ana lifted herself to her feet and stumbled to the sink again. She kicked off her heels and held them in her left hand. Blood red eyes looked back at her in the mirror.

She eventually walked out of the bathroom, which must have been a long time, because Christian was standing up waiting for her return.

"I'm going home," she announced.

Kate stood upon hearing this.

"We just got here." said Kate.

Christian blocked Ana's walk way.

"You can tell me what's bothering you." He whispered.

Ana considered telling him then remembered he was only dating her out of pity and tried to walk past him. He let her go this time.

"Ana, stop! Stop her!" yelled Kate. Marshall reached for Ana's arm and Ana's world stopped as cold large fingers gripped tightly around her forearm. It sent an unwelcomed shiver down her spine.

"Don't touch me!" Ana screamed. She raised her left hand up that held her heels and brought it down across his face. Some people were shouting but Ana couldn't match any voice. She hit him again and again and-

Christian pulled her off of Marshall, whose jaw and nose was bleeding from where the high heels had hit him. Ana snapped out of her trance, glancing around at the horrified customers faces. Christian lead her outside in the parking lot. Ana walked towards the car.

"Are you gonna explain that?" Asked Christian.

"Take me home."

"Not until you tell me what that was," His voice was calm and demanding. Ana ignored him so he followed her to his car. He wasn't concerned about Marshall, he honestly didn't like him, but he wanted to know why Ana flipped out on him. He started the car once they were inside. They could see Kate and Marshall just leaving the diner and walking to their car. Marshall's face was bandaged now.

"No more double dates," joked Christian but Ana didn't bother to look at him. She was starring intently at Marshall.

"It was him," whispered Ana. "I couldn't sit there. When he...he touched me... I-I lost it."

Ana finally looked at Christian. His hands gripped the steering wheel and his eyes were shaded by the shadows. He turned off the engine and got out of the car, not giving Ana time to ask questions. She wouldn't have anyway. Ana watched Christian walk over to the driver's side of Kate's car where Marshall was sitting and opened the door. They seemed to exchanged words then Christian grabbed Marshall by his dirty blonde hair and threw him out of his seat and onto the cement. Within seconds, Christian was on top of him, punching him repeatedly as Kate yelled frantically from the passenger seat.

Ana's eyes widen as she looked on. She knew now. This wasn't a pity and date: Christian loved her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter** **Six "Everything"**

Kate thought it would go on forever. She wanted to stop it -to intervene- but she was afraid to get hurt. They weren't her usual high school boys that she could easily control and she hated that. She hated feeling so helpless as she watched them fight. Well, it wasn't really much of a fight when it was this one-sided. Ana's pyscho boyfriend had lost it. Kate always thought Ana was a little envious of her, but attacking her boyfriend then letting Christian attack him was just evil. Kate's shrill cries formed words.

"Get off of him!"

This time Christian listened. He stood up breathing heavy.

"What is wrong with you?" shouted Kate.

"This fuck raped Ana," Christian said through gritted teeth. He was doing all he could not to lunge at Marshall again. Gosh, he wanted to kill him. When he tore his eyes away from him to look at Kate, she was shaking her head in disbelief.

"Liar!" she hissed. "How dare you?"

"Anastasia told me." Kate kept staring at him like he had grown a third head. Christian stepped towards her and she stepped back, frowning. "When are you going to open your eyes Katherine? Anastasia needs you and you're gonna stand by this?" he pointed at Marshall, who was moaning in pain on the ground.

"You don't even know Ana! How could you possibly know what she needs? Why don't you go back to being a rich fuck boy and stay out of our lives," shouted Kate.

Christian seethed as they heard police and ambulance sirens in the distance.

"Get your shit together," said Christian, ignoring her rant, then he jogged back to his car.

Kate dragged Marshall back into the passenger seat of her car and she sat in the driver seat.

"What...what are you doing?" Marshall asked weakly.

"Taking you to the hospital."

"T-The police are coming. I'm gonna press charges against that...that bastard. Look what he did to me, Kate. That fucker...I'm gonna need stitches," he winced as he shifted in his seat. "And the bitch cut me. I can't-"

"Oh shut up!" said Kate as she started the car and drove off.

Ana and Christian sat silently in their car. There was so much to talk about, yet so little to say. The tension was thick with unspoken words and as if the universe was feeling as bad as they were, it started raining. The pitter-patter of the rain falling against the car was actually calming to Ana. Christian parked the car in front of her house. Ray was sitting on the porch, reading a newspaper. He waved when he seen them pull up.

"You should tell him," said Christian.

Ana ignored him. "You hurt yourself," she gestured to his bruised knuckles.

"I'll live," he replied dryly.

"Did...what did Kate do?"

Christian didn't care for Kate, but he could tell Ana loved her as much as a friend could, so he kept his answer vague.

"She's confused."

Ana nodded as she looked out the window at Ray. She was blinking rapidly so she wouldn't cry.

"If you don't tell him, I will." said Christian. Ana's mind was still reeling with Kate so it took her a second to realize that he was talking about Ray.

"You better not," she replied. It wasn't his place to tell.

"What are you so afraid of?"

Ana opened her car door and walked across the lawn without another word. She would tell when she was ready. She didn't understand why Christian didn't get that.

"You're home early. Did everything go as planned?" said Ray as he stood up to greet her.

Ana grimaced.

"It went fine. I'm really tired though."

Ray noticed her glistening eyes.

"Have you been crying?"

"No, its the rain," she lied. She seen Christian get out of his car and start walking towards them. She almost rolled her eyes. She had had enough drama for one night. "I'm really tired," she repeated to Ray, wanting to get inside and just sleep more than anything.

Ray's eyes went to the blood stained heels that she held in her hand. She silently cursed as she jerked them behind her back, then realized that was the worse thing to do. Ray was frowning - something Ana rarely seen him do.

"Did someone try to hurt you?" asked Ray just as Christian finished climbing the porch steps. "Did he hurt you?"

Christian froze upon hearing this and Ana's mouth dropped open.

"N-no," croaked Ana. Her voice was dry and horse. She couldn't believe what was happening, but she was one hundred percent done with it all. "No Ray, he didn't do anything."

Ray didn't look convinced, Christian looked upset, and Ana didn't care.

"Get off my property right now." Ray told Christian in a commanding voice Ana had never heard before. It almost scared her. Even Christian looked taken back because Ray was always so mellow.

"There's a lot you don't know," Christian said calmly. This seemed to capture Rays attention, but Ana didn't wait to hear anymore. She walked into the house, dumping her shoes in the trash, and locked herself in her bedroom. She took a long bath and changed into her pajamas. Before she went to bed she heard talking (arguing?) downstairs but was too tired or lazy to check. Either way, she laid down, cherishing the soft bed and warm pillows and was soon fast asleep.

Kate sat in the waiting room of the hospital. After an hour of waiting, Marshall finally stumbled out of the room looking like hell. The nurse had told Kate how many stitches he needed (Kate wasn't listening) and she told her that his wrist was broken, along with three of his ribs, and he had minor cuts all over his swollen face. He grimaced everytime he turned, stepped, or made any movement at all.

"Are you okay?" asked Kate. Marshall sent her an annoyed look and continued to leave the hospital. Kate walked beside him. She had already heard Christian's side of the story and maybe Ana's too if Christian wasn't lying, so now she wanted to hear from the victim.

"Why do you think they did this to you?"

Marshall grunted.

"Where are the keys?"

"In my hand," Kate dangled them. "Now answer me."

"I don't know, Kate. They're fucking crazy. Open the damned door."

Kate sighed as she unlocked the car door. She didn't know what to believe anymore. The Marshall she knew was an asshole, with occasional sweet moments. Being a rapist never crosses her mind. Why should it have?

"Marshall... " said Kate once she parked into his apartment. She waited till he looked at her to continue. "Did you rape Anastasia Steele?"

"What," he groaned. He was obviously in pain. "Why the fuck are you asking me this?"

"I'm just asking."

"Fuck, I didn't think you were on this bullshit too," he muttered curses as he got out of the car and continued to curse until he got inside the apartment. Kate felt weary then she realized he never answered her and she felt uneasy. If this really was the guy that hurt Ana, then she was being a terrible friend by staying with him. If he wasn't the guy that hurt her, then Kate made a mental note to kick Christians ass herself. No matter what, she wanted to repair the damage she put in her and Ana's friendship. Whether Marshall was guilty or not, she felt bad for defending him. She was supposed to be there for Ana through thick and thin as they had promised each other years ago. Too threw all that away for what? A boy? Self disappointment riddled Kate as she pretended to be busy on her computer. Since Marshall wouldn't answer properly, and she didn't trust Christian, and Ana wasn't speaking, Kate decided to find the truth herself.

Ana's eyes fluttered open to the sound of her alarm. She forgot to reset it after school had ended. Her hand struggled to find the off button before she accidentally knocked the clock off her night stand.

"Why..." she murmured as she literally rolled out of bed and got dressed in causal clothes. She hoped Ray didn't have any questions because she didn't feel answering any. She let her hair fall loosely where it wanted too, then she did the one thing that she knew would cheer her up; she called her mom.

"Hey you, is everything still peachy?"

"Just peachy," Ana mumbled.

"Do I sense sarcasm?" Carla said. Ana laughed because the sarcasm was obvious. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. How are you?"

"You know me, I always hang in there. How did the date go?"

"Uh, not good."

"That's alright. There are a thousand men lined up for your taking. One date is nothing."

Ana blushed. She wanted to say that she wasn't going to try a thousand men, but found that statement useless.

"Christian was fine. It was everything else."

"Oh? Well, I'm not following anymore," laughed Carla. Ana giggled. There was a peaceful pause before Carla continued. "I'm visiting in two days, I hope you don't mind."

"No, that's great." replied Ana. "Its perfect," she hadn't known this until now, but she needed her mom with her when she went to the police. Her mom was a big support in her life and so carefree to talk too. In two days, Marshall would have to face what he done (despite the squirming and lying Ana knew he would do). In two days, Ana hoped Kate would be on her side. After the phone call, Ana already felt better. She went downstairs and seen Ray and Christian sitting on a couch. A police officer sat across from them. All eyes went to her and Ray stood up. His eyes looked red like he had been crying, but Ana wasn't sure.

"Ana, please," he said as he motioned for her to sit with them. Ana finished walking down the stairs, putting two and two together. Before she went to sleep last night, Ray suspected Christian of doing something to her. Christian must have told Ray the truth (like he was telling her to do) and like any father would do, Ray called the cops.

The policeman spoke first.

"They filed a sexual assault report, but we can't do anything unless we have the details from you to help us."

"You told him?" said Ana as she ignored the cop and stared at Christian. Christian stood up and walked to her, the answer evident on his face. Tears welled in Ana's eyes, but Christian kept telling himself he did this for the best.

"Did you expect me to sit back and do nothing?"

"What I told you was between you and me," Ana said quietly. It felt like all the air was rushing out of her lungs. Shocked that she was treating him like he betrayed her, Christian snapped.

"This was different!"

Ana raised her hand back and swiftly swung it forward, creating a crisp slap that connected with Christian's face. The sound echoed loudly throughout the living room amongst the silence.

Ana walked out the door.

Despite the sharp sensation that stung Christians cheek, he was glad she did that. The Ana one month ago wouldn't have dared to even try. He tried to follow her, but Ray insisted he should go. Halfway down the sidewalk, Ana turned around to the sound of her name and seen Ray. His face was twisted with confusion and failure.

"I'm sorry," he said. "You were showing signs of something being wrong and I ignored them. You could have come to me, but its my fault for giving you any signal that said otherwise."

Ana closed the spaced between them and hugged him. "Its not your fault," she mumbled against his sweater. Eventually, they walled back to the house and she gave a proper report. Although, judging from the information that the police already had, Christian hadn't told them it was Marshall, so neither did Ana. For Kate's sake, she hoped Marshall would just turn himself in. Ana didn't want to possibly lose her friend to get justice. Who knows how serious Kate is with Marshall? So Ana figured she would tell the police about him _after_ she talked with Kate herself.

"Thank you for coming forward. It takes a lot of courage to do this," the cop said once he finished taking her statement. Ray shook his hand and Ana simply nodded. She did feel slightly better, but she still wanted all the police out. They looked awkward in the house.

"Here," said a female officer as she handed Ana a card. "It's to a specialty therapist. She deals with victims of all types of abuse. If anything, she's someone to talk to and I'm sure she could help you remember everything that happened to you - if you wanted to know," she glanced away sadly then darted her eyes from Ana to Ray then back again. "I hope you give her a call."

"Thanks," Ana replied shyly as she flipped the card over in her hands. Soon all the police existed the house and then there were three. Ray was still looking troubled, like he had failed her. Christian was leaning against the counter, wishing Ana would look at him - She hadn't since she slapped him- and it was hard to get her attention with her father in the room.

"I...I'd like to go," said Ana as she stared at the card in her hands. She needed to know whole truth.

"You don't have too," said Christian, "Are you ready?"

Ana glanced at him, seeing the side of his face still flushed from where she had hit him, and nodded.

"Yes. I want to know everything."

 **...to be** **continued**


	7. Chapter 7

**WARNING** : this chapter will explore what happened to Ana. It's graphic and may be disturbing to some. If you have a rape or abuse trigger; please skip this chapter.

 **Chapter Seven "Welcome Back"**

Ray teetered in Ana's bedroom doorway. He wasn't quite sure if she wanted him there.

"I called the therapist and set the appointment for 5 pm."

Ana managed a smile. "Thanks Ray."

"If there's anything you need...just anything."

"I'll make sure I come to you first," replied Ana as she seen some relief wash over Ray.

Ray cautiously walking into her room, glancing around at everything besides her. He'd never forget the heart broken look she had when she seen the cops everywhere. It must have looked like they went behind her back.

"You're not comfortable with the cops investigating this, are you?" said Ray.

Ana shook her head and Ray continued.

"I'm not going to pretend like I have any idea of what you're going through, but isn't this what you want?"

Ana sighed.

"Do you know how many rapist get away with what they do? This one could too. And because of the police, the word is gonna spread and soon everyone at my school is only going to see me as a victim."

Ray finished walking into the room and sat beside her on the bed. He gently brushed her hair behind her ear. "You're my Annie. You are so much more than you think. Whoever did this will rot in a jail cell for the rest of their pathetic lives."

Ana hugged Ray, burying her face in his shoulder. If she stayed like this, she would surely start to cry, so she bite the inside of her cheek and pulled away from him. Ray reached over and grabbed her phone off of her desk and handed it to her.

"Your mother... I sure you'd like to tell her yourself," said Ray. He stood up and stopped at the door again. "Uhm, Ana?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't stay mad at Christian. If I hadn't brought the wrath of a father on him, I don't think he would have told," when Ray seen Ana smile, he continued, exaggerating the story. "The kid was shaking in his boots. Hell, a feather could have knocked him over."

Ana laughed and rolled her eyes.

"You might want to get out of this house and clear your mind. Talk to someone," said Ray as he shrugged his shoulders then went back downstairs. If Ana was reading the lines correctly, he wanted her to talk to Christian. She figured she would have to sooner to later, however, she decided to call her mother now.

"Hey, sweet pea. What has you sounding so blue?"

Ana told her mother the 'news'. Carla was hysterical, then she was mad, then she said she was taking the first flight out tonight. Ana wanted to tell Carla that she didn't need too, but when she set her mind on doing something, she was going to do it. Ana let her mother be and said goodbye after a short 15 minute call. Ana changed into another t-shit just for the sake of doing something, then went downstairs. Through the glass part of the door, Ana seen Christian on the porch, leaning against the balcony.

"Hey," she said as she walked outside.

"Hey," replied Christian. "I was going to talk to you, but Ray said you were calling your mother."

"I was. I-I did." corrected Ana. She thought he would ask how it went, but thankfully, he didn't.

"Are you scared?"

"Of what?"

"You're appointment. What if you find out something you can't handle? It seems like you're just getting better and... I don't want to lose you." he said the last part so quietly that Ana thought she might have just imagined him saying that.

"I'll handle it."

"And if you don't?"

"I will. But nothing is worst than not know anything."

Christian nodded. It was obvious that he didn't want her to go, but he couldn't do anything about it, and talking about it was only making her upset. Which was the last thing he wanted to happened.

"Lets get out of here." he said.

"What?"

A smirk appeared on Christians face and he started walking down the porch steps.

"Come on, there's a place I wanna show you." He opened the passenger side of his car, gesturing for her to get in. She hadn't moved from the porch. "It's still a couple of hours till 5. And do you really want to stay here?"

Ana thought about that for a moment. She could stay in her house and wallow in depressing thoughts, or take a mystery trip with Christian.

"Where too?" Ana asked as she descended down the steps.

As Christian drove, Ana stared in awe out her window. She had never been on this side of town before and it was beautiful. Tall glass buildings looked down upon huge malls, little bouquets, gorgeous parks with fountains decoratively sprouting water. The people even dressed like they belonged there. Ana suddenly felt self conscious and was glad she was inside the car, but Christian drove past everything then parked outside of a fence that lead to a huge field of green grass, surrounding a lake. The way the sun shone against the against the water made Ana feel like she was in a dream.

"You like it?" asked Christian when he seen her staring at the water.

Ana nodded.

"It's beautiful."

Christian laid his jacket on the grass. "Well, we could sit down and watch. Or we could get a closer view. I heard the water is great this time of year."

He smirked and began taking his clothes off, stripping to his underwear. Ana shifted nervously from foot to foot. She glanced at the ground, trying to hide her flushed face.

"I'm not much of a swimmer," replied Ana. She could barely look at him. She cursed the effect he was having on her. His fingers loosely grabbed her wrist and started to pull her towards the water. She could have easily freed her hand, but she felt okay, even safe in his presence. So she let him walk her to the edge of the lake.

"I used to sneak away here all the time," said Christian as he smiled at fond memories.

"What happened?" asked Ana.

"Life. College."

"Oh," replied Ana. But she felt completely content in this moment, with Christian holding her arm, and standing in front of a beautiful view in just his underwear. She felt like it wasn't even her with him, like she would wake up soon.

"Why did you bring me here?" Ana mumbled.

Christian tilted his head as if contemplating telling her the truth. He finally shrugged. "I minus well tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"That I'm falling in love with you," he let her hand go and fell backwards into the water. Ana's breathe got caught in her throat as she repeated his words over and over in her mind.

"Wait, what," she said, but he was already swimming out.. She couldn't stay on the bank anymore. Not after that. She rid herself of her pants (she kept her shirt on) and dipped a toe into the lake.

"Come on," urged Christian, who was grinning up at her. Ana blushed and stepped fully into the water. She swan to the middle of the lake, stopping in front of him. He read her eyes before she even said anything. "Don't. I only told you because it's safe to tell you."

"Safe? ... You don't think we'll work," Ana stated sadly, realizing what he meant. He was in college, she was in high school.

Christian pursed his lips and squinted into the sun. "You think we will?"

"I don't know. But that's why we only get to be young and dumb once."

Before she had the chance to change her mind, Ana cupped Christians face in her hands and pressed her lips against his. She pulled away and studied his face. His expression was blank, besides a trace of a smile, edging towards humor.

"That..." Christian began, "Is not how you kiss."

Ana rolled her eyes, feeling her embarrassment burn in her cheeks.

"Then show me," she whispered.

Christian grabbed her hips from under the water and pulled her against him, seizing her mouth with his own. The foreign contact made Ana tense, but she immediately surrendered to the lovely sensation of him nibbling and sucking on her bottom lip. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she buckled into him. He held her waist even tighter and he slid his tongue in and out of her mouth, causing a heavenly moan from Ana. What started off as a slow, indulgent kiss turned into a greedy, passionate one.

They breathlessly leaned their foreheads together as lazy smiles settled upon their faces.

"We should get back," said Christian, his voice still deep with lust.

Ana nodded, unable to speak right now. When they got on land, Christian gave her his jacket because her shirt was soaked.

"It took you two long enough," said Ray as he watched Ana and Christian emerge from the car. He was joking, but there was traces of real worry.

"I'm sorry," said Ana.

"It's my fault sir. I lost track of time."

Ray waved his hand dismissively at both of them. "Just get ready and get in the car. We're not missing this appointment."

* * *

It was getting late in the evening and Kate wanted to call Ana. Only she didn't, because she knew Marshall would get pissed off. She had stayed over at his place and listened to him rant about Ana and Christian, basically saying that they were the spawns of the devil, so Kate waited till he was in the bathroom to use her phone. However, if was _his_ phone that caught her eye. It was buzzing like he was getting a text. Kate glanced at the bathroom then at his phone. It felt slimy to look through her boyfriends phone without permission, but he would never let her even if she begged. Plus, he had acting like an ass lately, so Kate didn't think twice as she snatched his phone off the desk and stuffed it in her pocket.

"I'm going to my place," shouted Kate as she shut the front door before she had a chance to hear him say goodbye. Her heart pounded in her chest as as she drove home. It wouldn't take long before he noticed be keys were gone, but she would deal with that when she had too. She barely twisted the keys out of the ignition before running into her house, silently thanking the angels that her dad wasn't home, and locked herself in her bathroom. She took out Marshalls phone and glanced up to see her broken mirror. She remembered that whole day vividly, which caused her to look at the clothes she had let Ana borrow for Melissa's party. She had wrapped them in a plastic bag. She planned on giving them to Ana to keep, but after Ana told her what happened, of course she didn't. She was scared to throw them away and scared not too. She kept telling herself that if Ana would have told her sooner, she would have been a better friend. But she doubted it. She was too busy tied around Marshall to be there for Ana.

"Focus," Kate muttered as she unlocked his phone. She looked through his text messages first. Nothing out of the ordinary. He had many texts his friend, Ronnie, and he had a few from his dad, calling him a loser. Kate felt sad for him, but it all went away when she seen provocative messages shared between him and another girl. She almost threw the phone down right then, but remembered this wasn't about her. Selfishness is what got her in hot water with Ana in the first place and she didn't want to do that again. She bitterly changed the page. She didn't even know what she was looking for and anger and jealousy clouded her judgment. She strolled through his picture gallery, and nearly dropped the phone.

"Oh my... Oh my," Kate stammered. She stared at twenty or more pictures of a naked Ana as the center piece of each disturbing photo. Marshall was in all of them, posing with Ana like she was a sex doll. There was also a video that Kate didn't finish watching, but she recognized the voice behind the camera was Ronnie, Marshall's best friend. There were a couple of other girls too, treated the same way Ana had been, from different time periods. Tears were flowing down Kate's face and she turned the phone off and wiped her eyes. This was all the evidence the police needed. All in the palm of her hand.

"Kate?" shouted Marshall from downstairs.

"Shit," muttered Kate. She was in such a rush that she hadn't locked the front door. And her car was parked out front so she knew she couldn't hide. She didn't want too. She stormed down the stairs with his phone in her hand.

"What the hell is this?" she asked.

Marshall's eyes widened.

"What did you see?"

"Everything! I'm going to the police."

"I can't let you do that," said Marshall as he lunged at her, but his injuries made it a weak attempt and Kate easily moved out the way and pushed him to the floor. He groaned and held his side.

"Fuck you," said Kate.

Marshall grinned though a grimace. "You already did."

Unpleasant shivers filled Kate's body with disgust, but she ignored him. "I can't believe I defended you. And you knew the whole time and Ana was my friend! You're going to jail Marshall."

"Baby... please," groaned Marshall. He tried to sit up but the pain was too much and stayed on the floor. "You're going to ruin my life because I fucked a whore?"

"You ruined your own damn life! And the only whore in this situation is _you_ ," replied Kate. She couldn't bare to be around him a second longer and quickly got out of her house and into her car. He called after her, but she didn't look back. She didn't even care that he was still in her house. He couldn't do anything with all those injuries anyway, and her dad was getting off work soon. She'd let him kick out. Right now, she threw Marshall's phone into the passenger seat and drove to the Steele's house.

* * *

"Hello, welcome," smiled the therapist, Joanne. "Please take a seat."

Ana glanceed nervously back at Ray, who was standing by the doorway next to Christian. Ray nodded encouragingly and Ana slowly walked futher into the room. It was cozier than she expected a therapist office would be, with a plush white couch in the middle of a mellow colored room surrounded by plants, artistic pictures and a red chair opposite of the couch.

"It's okay," said the therapist. "If you really want them to stay you can, but patients always remember better when they're alone without distractions," her eyes flashed to Christian and Ana wondered if it was that obvious. She bite her lip to stop from blushing.

"I'll be fine alone," Ana told Ray and Christian with a glance over her shoulder.

"We'll be right outside," said Christian as they existed the room.

"Please, lay down," said Joanne. Ana hesitantly listened and laid across the white couch as Joanne sat on the red chair. "How old are you Ana? Is it okay if I call you Ana?"

"Its fine. I'm 16."

"Are you aware that what happened to you can cause trama, and/or depression, often lasting into adult hood?"

Ana frowned.

"I'm aware."

"Have you had any suicidal thoughts?"

Ana's frown deepened.

"Its okay Ana. There is no judgment here," said Joanne.

"...Yes."

"That's normal. When you told the cops, where you relieved?"

Ana shifted uncomfortably on the soft couch. "No."

"That's normal as well. No one wants to be a victim. How about you close your eyes so we can go back to that night?"

Ana closed her eyes as Joanne continued.

"I want you to follow my voice and explain everything I ask of you. It might seem hard at first, but all your memories are still there, we just need to unlock them. Now tell me, who are you with, where are you going, and how does the weather feel?"

"I'm with my best friend Kate and we're going to Melissa Mayer's party. It's kind of cold, and I'm wishing I never borrowed Kate's clothes." said Ana, reliving the night.

Joanne wrote this down. "What do you notice when you get inside the house?"

"That I don't belong. And it smells terrible. Like cigarettes and weed."

"What else do you see?"

Ana winced. "Kate left me. She's talking to boys who are drooling over her. She's being her normal, outgoing self and I'm hating her for it. And I'm hating myself for hating her for it. Then there's a guy. He's been looking at me since I walked in and he winks and-" Ana squirmed on the couch.

"Ana, don't get ahead of herself," warned Joanne. "Follow my voice. I need you to skip that part. From this point on, you can only open your eyes when I tell you. Understand?"

"Understand," agreed Ana.

Joanne glanced at Ana's police report. She read it over a dozen times and still felt sick reading it again. "Tell me, how are you feeling as you look around the room?"

"Nauseous. My stomach feels terrible."

"What happens next Ana?"

"A guy approaches me... He smells lovely. And his eyes are a gorgeous shade of gray."

"Do speak with him?" asked Joanne.

"More or less. I vomit everywhere and I'm so embarrassed that I run upstairs. I'm in the bathroom now."

"Relax, Ana. Picture everything you see in bathroom. See it?" when Ana nodded, Joanne continued. "Good job. How long do you stay in the bathroom?"

"Hours. I was hoping the party would be over but everything only got louder downstairs. When I eventually come out, a man stops me. He's...offering me a drink. And- and-"

"What does he look like?"

Ana dug her finger nails into the couch. "I don't know. I feel dizzy. I can't stand anymore and he's crawling on top of me," Ana breathe became labored.

"Listen to my voice, Ana. Everything that you hear, repeat out loud. Understand?"

"Understand."

"What happens next?" asked Joanne.

"I-I black out. Everything is black." said Ana.

"No, its not. Ana, focus. Even though you're unconscious, you can still hear. What do you hear?"

"Nothing. I wake up on the side of the road-"

"Don't get ahead of yourself. What happens next?" Joanne said firmly, getting a gasp from Ana. Ana started mumbling sentences out and Joanne struggled to make her pen keep up.

 _Flashback_

The party was still on fire past midnight, but Ronnie was already too drunk, and he planned on driving home without dying tonight. He just had to get his friend. He already searched the pool and downstairs, so the upstairs bedrooms were the only place he could be.

Ronnie opened a door and found it empty. He was lucky on his next try and seen his friend, Marshall, having sex with a girl.

"Buddy, cut it out. I'm going home." said Ronnie. As he got closer he realized nothing was as it seemed. The young brunette laid unconscious on the floor with her skirt yanked up to her stomach.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Marshall stood, zipping his pants up.

"Shh! You're gonna get us caught!"

"Us? This shits on you," Ronnie replied as he turned to leave.

"Come on man. I thought we were buddies? We can share her. No one will ever know," said Marshall as Ronnie turned around. "She's really tight. She's even better than the last whore."

"How do you know she's a whore?"

Marshall shrugged, grinning devilishly.

"We're gonna make her one tonight."

Ronnie frowned. "You're sick man. Finish what you're doing here and I'll help you bring her to the car and dump her off somewhere. But I'm not touching her."

"Whatever. More for me. But you gotta dump her off yourself because I have a chick waiting for me downstairs. The hot blonde that's been making her rounds since she got here."

"Her? Didn't they come in together?"

"I think so," replied Marshall as he knelt between Ana's legs and ripped her shirt open.

Ronnie shook his head, but he was getting hard as he watched the girl's perky breast spill out of her bra. The excitement faded as Marshall took out a camera and posed with the girl like she was a doll. He had too take about 20 pictures, most involving him biting her nipples or placing his cock in her mouth as if she was sucking it. Others were more disturbing, like when he got a golf club from the closet and fucked her with it. He had Ronnie record that.

"Alright, here's your phone back," said Ronnie as he tossed the phone to to Marshall. "I'm taking her to the hospital."

"The fuck, man? Are you trying you get us caught? Drop her off by a dumpster."

"Fine," replied Ronnie.

"Naked," added Marshall, grinning. "Preferably with a stick shoved in her cunt. The whore will wake up screaming, thinking she's been gang raped. But no, I'm just a one man wrecking machine." he stated proudly.

"Stop calling her that," Ronnie mumbled as he dressed Ana.

"Why? Don't tell me you're catching feelings?" asked Marshall.

"Hell no. Just go down stairs asshole, I got this."

"Whatever. Don't forget what I said."

Ronnie rolled his eyes as he slung the brunette over his shoulder and walked out the back of the house. No one stopped him or even said a word. He guessed everyone thought the girl was stone drunk and he was helping her, or they were to drunk to care. He set her in the passenger seat and drove to the nearest dumpster. Ronnie looked at her. He couldn't go through with Marshall's cruel orders. After all, the girls life would already be changed forever once she woke up, so he kept on driving. He drove till he got sleepy and pulled off the road. He used his shirt to wipe off the blood that was trickling down her leg, then he lifted her out of his car and set her on the side of the road, behind some bushes. He took her wallet and phone out of her pocket and set it beside her. He sighed then got into his car and drove off.

 _Present_

"Open yours eyes!" yelled Joanne. "Open them!"

Ana was convulsing and crying as she was still trapped into her dream state of mind. Joanne never witnessed a patient get so lost into their memories. Ana fell off of the couch, collapsing into a violent seizure. She was making terrible choking noises as her limps wildly flopped around. The door flung opened and Ray and Christian stormed in with matching frowns.

"What did you do to her?" cried Ray.

Christian held Ana to stop her from shaking, but it didn't help much. Joanne stood up, her eyes wide.

"She was talking a lot. I have a whole page of what happened now and it's great progress, but when I her told her to open her eyes, she just started convulsing. Oh my goodness, should I call the ambulance?" rambled Joanne, as she dialed the number anyway.

Christian ignored the therapist as he rocked Ana back and fourth. "Anastasia," He was fuming with so much anger he could have cried. "You told me you could handle this, so do it!"

Ray's legs gave way and he sunk into the red chair, cupping his hands over his face, and silently started to cry.

Christian kissed Ana's forehead through her bangs. "Anastasia... _Please_."

Joanne frowned deeply. She was the best therapist in Seattle, but this would surely hurt her reputation. "Ana, open yours eyes, right now!" the lady yelled in one last vain attempt. They all watched as Ana's body stop moving and her eyes slowly, and weakly fluttered opened.

"Annie..." Ray breathed just as the ambulance marched through the door. They pulled the stretcher out and Christian lifted Ana onto it. He squeezed her hand, unable to look away from how her small smile and wet eyes mirrored his.

"Welcome back," said Christian.

 **...to be continued**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight "The Healing Process"**

"All your vitals seem fine. I don't see why we can't let you go."

"I feel fine," said Ana as she glanced at Ray sitting in a chair. He insisted that he stayed in the hospital room with her, despite the doctors recommendations. "I really do."

"When you leave here, I suggest you get some rest," said the doctor. "When's the last time you ate?"

"Uhm... A day or so," Ana mumbled. She heard Ray sigh. She hoped he didn't think that she was doing this on purpose or trying to starve herself. She had just forgotten.

"Well, that's a big problem in itself. Do you have a history of seizures?"

Ana shook her head.

"Okay then. You're free to leave miss Steele." said the doctor. Ana silently told herself to calm down, because she felt like running out of the door. She hated hospitals and all their smells and bright lights. The walls were painted a faded yellow that seemed like it was supposed to be hopeful and happy, but it just missed that feeling. Much like the emotions of the people at the hospital. They tried to be hopeful and pray, but there is always the hovering dark cloud of doubt that keeps you from truly believing that your child will beat the cancer, or your friend will survive their injuries, etc.

Ana spotted Christian sitting on a waiting chair. She seen him before he seen her, and once again cherished every second of being able to observe him. He was resting his elbows on his knees, looking genuinely worried. It made her heart swell as she continued towards him. Joanne jumped up from her seat, obscuring Ana's view, and smoothed the wrinkles out of her already neat skirt. Ana thought Joanne was the type of woman who never wore the same thing twice, and washed every other day, and used way too much hand sanitizer, but would never admit she was a clean freak.

"I'm so sorry for what happened. I think I moved too fast with you. You can have a full refund and we can try again-"

Ray cut Joanne off. "No way. If you're worried about us taking legal action, we're not, but what happened is unacceptable, and we won't be back."

"I don't think you understand. I won't need to be doing that exact procedure with Ana anymore," Joanne reached into her purse and took out her notepad. "You're daughter said everything that happened to her. Its all on here. This could be overwhelming evidence."

Ray tried to grab the notepad, but Joanne pulled it back.

"I don't think you should read it," she said in a low voice.

Ray involuntarily grabbed Ana's arm. He was feeling a little light headed himself.

"Just give it to the police," he replied.

Joanne nodded and walked past them, slipping her card to Ana privately.

"You need to start the healing process. Therapy is a very good first step." Joanne whispered.

Ana put it in her pocket as the lady walked passed her, then rested her eyes on Christian again, who was now standing.

Ray's phone started ringing.

"... Kate's calling me. She probably wants to talk to you, Ana."

Ana frowned. She didn't want to talk to Kate. The last time she heard from her was at the diner.

"Can you tell her to call back later?" asked Ana.

"Yeah, sure."

"Do you mind if I go back to work? I really need to do something..."

Ray vaguely glanced ay Christian then back at his daugter. He wasn't stupid. While he knew she needed to be busy, he also knew she wanted to be around Christian. He was glad she had someone there for her though. He knew what it was like to be young and in love. It was a beautiful feeling that compared to nothing, so as much as he wanted Ana to stay, he said she could go.

"Thanks, Ray," said Ana as she raised up to hug him, then she walked out the door with Christian.

They drove to the restaurant and took seats by window.

"Ah, you two are back," Lexi welcomed with a smile. "Are you employees or customers today?"

"Both," said Ana.

Lexi grinned. "Well, you still aren't getting any discounts," she joked. "What'll it be?"

They ordered food and slowly ate to prolong starting work; they couldn't talk when they were taking orders. The conversation was even hard to start _now_ after what happened today.

"Are you okay, Anastasia? I mean, are you OK?"

Ana glanced out the window then back at him. There was nothing to hide anymore, her nightmare of a secret was out in the world, so she replied as honest as she could.

"I am with you."

Christian smiled slightly, but it easily could have been a grimace. Being her rock seemed like a hard task. What if she was just putting on a tough facade, and was hurting more than she was letting on? What if she became depressed or said to hell with it and took her own life? Christian tried not to think about dark thoughts like that. Ana was handling everything well, and he planned on making sure she stayed that way. He wasn't going anywhere. He reached across the table and gently squeezed her hand in his.

"I'd follow you to the gates of hell, Anastasia," he said, causing her to glance at him. "I'd like to stay with you till we grow old."

Ana smiled, picturing herself old and gray with Christian. Of course she exaggerated how she would look, with a walker, extra wrinkles, no teeth, and balding.

Christian grinned. He was just happy that she was smiling. "What?"

"Can you imagine us old?"

"I never really thought about it."

"Well, what do you want to do when you get older?" asked Ana.

Christian sighed, his mood changing slightly.

"I'm sure my dad has it all figured out," he grumbled.

Ana furrowed her brows as she moved her fries around on her plate.

"Then make your own plans, and follow your own dreams. In the end, it won't matter what anyone thinks."

Christian raised his eyebrows.

"Wow. And since when were you a motivational speaker?" he asked in hopes of making her laugh, but she glanced down, obviously trying to hide a frown.

"I don't know," she mumbled. "You never know when you're life can get ruined."

The atmosphere went dark and quiet at their table as everything around them continued to be the normal loud, cheerfulness of the restaurant. It seemed to beam a spot light on them and how depressing they'd gotten.

"Uh, how about dessert?" asked Christian. He was desperate to lighten the conversation again.

Ana nodded.

"That sounds good."

They ordered a huge ice cream sundae and shared it.

* * *

Meanwhile... Kate was speeding the whole drive to the Steele's house. She tried calling Ray (because Ana stopped talking to her), but he didn't pick up either. She parked half-way on the curb, and half-way on their yard, when she stumbled out of the car, panting and yelling.

"Open the door!"

She pounded her fist against the wooden door as hard as she could. After about a minute of no response, she realized their car wasn't in the driveway. She had no idea where they could have gone. Kate got back into her car and decided to take matters into her own hands. She drove to the police station.

"I'd like to report evidence about an assault," said Kate, slightly out of breathe.

The officer was sitting behind a desk. He seemed to have an ever-lasting frown.

"What kind of assault, and what is your relationship with the victim?"

"Sexual assault... And I'm her friend. Her name is Anastasia Steele."

The policeman perked up, opening a draw to search for a file.

"A few of my officers are investigating that case right now. What do you have?" he asked, his eyes still downcast.

"I can't believe she went to the police," Kate murmured to herself.

"M'am?"

"Oh. Sorry," Kate dug into her pocket and set Marshall's phone on the desk. "All the evidence o there. Its pretty graphic."

"I seen quite a few things in my day," said the officer in slight humor. He took the phone. "My team and I will look into this. Is this your phone?"

"Uh, no. It's the a- uhm, Marshall Craig's phone," said Kate.

The cop raised an eyebrow. "You know who the suspect is?"

"A little too much."

"We'll bring him in for questioning. Do you mind if we ask you a few questions as well? Just to learn more about the case."

"No problem, sir."

"Great. And in case something comes up, don't leave town within the next two weeks."

Kate had heard that line in many detective shows, but she never thought she would hear it in real life. This was all surreal.

"I won't. How long will Marshall go away?"

 _"If_ he did do it, and depending if this is overwhelming evidence, he could get 16 plus years. Although, the average jail time for a rapist is 10 years. We'll just have to see how this goes, okay?"

Kate nodded.

"Is it okay if I stay here?"

"Go ahead, but take a seat, and don't get in the way."

* * *

It was lunch break, and Ana was sitting outside on the restaurant steps, turning Joanne's card over in her hands. She'd been thinking about what she told her all day. When she heard the door open, she didn't have to look to know it was Christian. He sat beside her, and they stayed silent for a moment, both enjoying each others company.

"Are you going to see her again?" he asked.

"I think so. Ray thinks it was a bad idea but... I wanted to know. I'm glad I know."

"That's all that matters. It's about how _you_ feel, and if you think this therapist is good for you, go to her. Ray will just have to understand," said Christian.

Ana rested her head against his shoulder, closing her eyes to block out the sun light.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Anything."

"Are you going wait for me?"

"Pardon?"

"...I'm 16 and you're 20. These are your college years of parties and girls. I'll totally understand if you don't want to be held down by my tragic self. You helped me a lot, so I won't be upset if you leave, honestly," said Ana. There was a little white lie in there, because she _would_ be upset if he left. She'd be heartbroken. Although, like she said, she would understand. All good things came to an end sometime.

She felt his arm wrap around her shoulder.

"And where the hell would I go?" replied Christian.

Ana angled her face up to look at him, and he placed a passionate kiss on her lips, only stopping when she started smiling half-way through it. She was also crying - happy tears.

"I love you," she whispered. "I mean," She quickly sat up, realizing she had it aloud. She didn't mean too. It just slipped. She stood up, flustered, and mumbled about getting back to work.

"Anastasia," said Christian just as her phone rang.

She answered it in record time.. "Hello?"

"The police have Marshall and Ronnie in custody, but Ana, there's something else too," said Ray. Ana heard his voice crack and she immediately held Christian's forearm. It scared her when she heard Ray talk like this.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

Ray tucked the fact that she called him dad into a special part of his mind.

"Kate gave the police some key evidence. It's- it's... Those bastards are going to jail... And if they don't-" his voice broke again, and silent tears poured down Ana's face.

"How did Kate do that?" she asked.

"It was on Marshall's phone. I'll explain everything later. Just come to the station, someone's here to see you."

Ana had so many questions, including who was there to see her, but she was struggling to keep her voice steady (much like Ray was doing) ,and very soon she would just be muttering nonsense through sobs, so she didn't pry any further.

"Okay. Bye, Ray."

Ana hung up the phone and wiped her eyes.

"We need to get to the police station."

Christian nodded and pulled her into his embrace. Ana was hesitant at first, then sunk into the hug, relishing how warm he felt.

"Is it good news or bad news?" asked Christian.

"I'm not really sure. Kate is there though."

Christian frowned.

"If she brings Marshall around-"

Ana cut him off. "He's in custody. I think she helped turn him in."

"Hmm... Maybe she came to her senses. Why do _we_ have to go there?"

"Ray said someone is waiting for me."

Christian let her go and handed her the keys. She felt a bubble of happiness that he was going to let her drive.

"Well, lets go find out who it is."

 **...to be continued**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine "Still Learning"**

"Mom!"

Ana crashed into Carla, making her stumble back slightly, and wrapped her arms around her neck as she rested her face into her shoulder. She took in the sun-grass scent of her mother, reminding her of her childhood, back when things were simple even though she didn't know it yet.

"I missed you so much," she muffled into her mother's shoulder.

"I'm here now, sweet pea," Carla replied as she kiss the top of Ana's hair through her bangs.

"When did you get back?"

"Just this morning. I wanted to go straight home, but Ray called and said to meet at the police station. He said there was new information," Carla winced as she uttered the last sentence. She still was bitter and mad as hell that someone hurt her daughter.

Ana leaned back slightly, glancing at Ray then Carla again. "New information?"

"Kate gave it to the police earlier," said Ray. He was seated, like he was too tired to stand, which only made Ana a little more worried about what they had found.

Kate, who Ana hadn't realized was there, stood from her seat and slowly walked towards her. Ana felt her whole body stiffen and she soon felt a hand rest on her back. It was Christian.

Kate offered a tight smile, which was ignored by Ana.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" asked Ana.

Kate seemed taken back by her bluntness, but quickly shook it off. "Can we talk in private?"

Ana tensed again then glanced at her mom, and Carla nodded. She didn't know exactly what was going on between the two girls, but she knew they were best practically stuck to each other's hip since they met at a very young age, so seeing them like this was heart breaking.

"You don't have to talk to her if you don't want too," Christian said as he rubbed circles on the small of Ana's back.

"I know," Ana replied as she gestured for Kate to follow her outside anyway.

When they got outside Ana took shallow breath's and silently repeated not to run back inside the police station. Although, part of her actually wanted to hear what Kate had to say.

"I'm sorry," was the first thing Kate said.

"What did you find out?" Ana asked. She couldn't ingage in conversation with Kate for fear of forgiving her too easily. She wanted to stay mad at her, but she couldn't. She guessed it was her weakness.

Kate grimaced. "Marshall had video on his phone. Of you... and other girls too."

"I... I know what happened to me."

Kate frowned. "How? I thought you couldn't remember?"

"I went to a therapist," Ana replied as she stuffed her hands in her pocket, feeling the card Joanne had given her. She thought about explaining further, but decided against it.

"Oh. Is it helping?"

"I think so."

Kate gave a tight smile.

"I know you won't believe me, but I missed us."

Ana nodded in reply, not giving Kate the satisfaction of knowing she felt the same way. She wanted her to earn her trust back first.

"I'm going back inside," she replied instead.

"Wait-"

"Kate, I'm going back inside."

"Let _me_ tell you what was on his phone. Please, I don't want you to hear it from a cop... from a stranger."

Ana listened to every word Kate said, realizing she had seen it all in her head the day she met with Joanne. She instinctively twirled the card around in her pocket. She knew she had to go back there. She had gotten a piece of mind. She had gotten her memories back.

Carla peeked her head outside. "Kate, don't hog my daughter."

"Sorry Miss Steele," replied Kate as she glanced at Ana with an apologetic smile, but Ana wasn't paying her any attention.

* * *

Ana sat on the curb outside of the police station as she listened to the footsteps walk up behind her. She had been out there since they brought Marshall and Ronnie through the doors in hand cuffs. An officer told her they were bringing them in to be held in custody.

"What happens now?" Carla had asked.

"Well, an arrest was made, so now the police report follows. The prosecutor then reads the police report and decides whether the arrested should be charged with a crime. In this case, with overwhelming evidence, he will be. Would you like a call when he's been indicted?"

"Yes," Ray said weakly. He had been sitting in a chair, staring into space the entire time. Ana made a mental note to talk to him, but she had to get outside now. She couldn't bear to be in the same building as Marshall or Ronnie. She had stormed out without saying anything and she felt all eyes bore into her back, but she knew only one would follow her. Which is why she knew who it was even before she lazily glanced back, looking over her shoulder.

"We can get away from here."

Ana stared into the most genuine gray eyes she had ever seen, and she was very tempted to say yes, but she had other plans in mind. Plans that had whirred around her mind for a little while. She didn't think she had the luxury escape this yet. She knew she had to keep facing it.

"I'm actually going somewhere," she replied.

"Okay, I'll drive you."

"No, it's... no."

Christian squinted, trying to read her, but Ana's face was impossibly neutral.

"That's fine. I'll pick you up."

"No thanks, I'm fine."

"Is Ray picking you up?"

"No."

"Who is then? I'm not letting you walk alone."

"That's right. You're aren't _letting_ me do anything," Ana replied as she stood up.

Christians shoulders slumped. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her. She was at a vulnerable place now and he silently cursed himself for not remembering.

"Anastasia, wait."

She turned around, her pony tail swinging. "What?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I just want you to be safe."

Ana's expression softened.

"I know, but I really need to do this by myself."

* * *

Ana lingered outside the doctor's office, finally taking a deep breath, then knocked twice. A faint "Come in," rang from the inside, and she tentatively opened the door then walked in. Joanne was sitting in a leather chair, looking at some papers. She glanced up when she seen Ana.

"Ana?"

"I didn't know where else to go," Ana confessed.

"That's quite alright. Take a seat."

Ana sat down on a the brown, plush couch. She was in a different room then when she first came here.

"How have you been?" asked Joanne.

"The same."

"You're tensed. Relax," Joanne insisted.

"It's hard too."

"Don't fight it."

"I'm not trying to... it just doesn't come."

Joanne smiled warmly as she promptly stood up turned her chair, so that she faced Ana.

"Why did you come here?"

"You helped me."

"Correct, but _why_ did you come here?"

Ana parted her lips to speak then stopped. She exhaled, actually giving thought to that question. She could be with her mom, who she hadn't seen in a while. She could be with Ray, who seemed like he blamed himself for everything, and was probably depressed and lonely. Or she could be with Christian, who she viewed as the best support system she could ask for, yet, she was here, staring back at her therapist. Why had she come here? Then the obvious answer unfolded itself in her mind.

"It hasn't gotten better," Ana began. " _I_ haven't gotten better. You made me feel like I had a purpose, like I was worth sometimes. I know Ray didn't want me to come back here, but I had too. He thinks you hurt me in some way, but you did the opposite. I feel like I have a chance at feeling normal with your help," Ana closed her eyes after she finished her rant. When she opened them again, Joanne was smiling at her.

"Well, now that you know why you're here, let's start, shall we?"

Ana nodded. She found herself engaging in normal conversation with the older woman, getting lost in it. Many questions were asked and answered between the two, and Ana loved hearing some stories that Joanne said happened to her in her life. She was an interesting woman and Ana was eager to know more, but she glanced at the clock and noticed how the evening stuck on them so fast.

"I should get going," said Ana.

"No problem. Same time tomorrow?"

"I don't know. Like I said, Ray doesn't even know I'm here."

Joanne gave a single, firm nod.

"Get here when you can, Anastasia. Don't worry about money either, these sessions will be on me."

Ana's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really." Joanne had been more than disturbed when she read what happened to Ana and she thought this was the least she could do to help the girl.

Ana stood up slowly.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Why didn't we talk about my... what happened to me?"

"It's a process. Don't you think we should know each other first?," Joanne said, a smile teetering on her lips, "If you like, I'll drive you home."

Ana couldn't help but smile back. The woman's smile was infectious. "I'd like that."

* * *

It was late in the evening when Joanne dropped Ana off a block from her house, and she walked the rest of the way. Ana softly open the door, shutting and locking it behind her. All the lights in the house was off except a kitchen light. As she went deeper into the house she seen Ray sitting at the dinner table, drinking a beer while another unopened one sat beside him.

"Ray?"

He glanced up, startled by her presence. "How long have you been home?"

"I just got in," Ana replied gently.

Ray nodded slowly. "Are you hungry? I could whip you up something real quick."

"I'm good... Are you okay?"

Ray let out a humorless chuckle. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Ana shrugged as she sat next to him. She didn't know why she sat down, but she just didn't want to go to her empty room yet. She knew she would be tempted to call Kate there. Ray slid the unopened beer towards her and Ana stared at it disbelievingly.

"I always wanted to be able to give you your first beer. This _will_ be your first, right?"

Ana rolled her eyes. "Yeah," she opened it and gulped it down. She only had alcohol once and it was bitter and terrible, but this beer was sweet with a kick; She liked it.

"I'm sorry you have to ask if _I'm_ okay. I guess I should be stronger than that," Ray admitted.

"It's fine. We're all in this together. I know I'm not the only one hurting."

Ray nodded.

"I'm still learning. I don't know what to do, but I'll try. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate, alright?"

"Well, I was thinking about seeing Joanne again..."

"Who?"

"The therapist. I really think she-"

"No. Did you not see what happened when went there? You were convulsing on the ground and I-I was helpless! I will not see you like that again."

"It won't happen again. She said it was a one time thing."

Ray sighed.

"Those people will say anything to get money."

Ana stood up, knocking her chair over behind her. "She doesn't care about money, she wants to help!"

Ray's mouth dropped opened and Ana blushed. She hated talking to Ray like that. She quickly picked the chair back up and sat down.

"I'm going to do this with or without you," she whispered softly. She felt Ray's hand gently rest on top of hers.

"Alright. I'm with you."

 **To be continued...**


End file.
